Isn't life funny?

First let me finish my thoughts on Mockingjay.
Things I liked since at times they were hard to remember.
1. There was the dichotomy of the Arena. Once Katniss went to the Hunger Games, she never really left them.
No tribute ever left them. It was a useful engine for talking about the human condition and it's undying need to punish others for perceived hurts more than actual ones. In the end the oppressed turn out to not be that different than their overlords were. That is until Katniss kills Coin. Unlike the rest of her people, the Mockingjay does transcend and become something more than she was. She does come to terms albeit briefly with her inner demons.
2. At least there is some reprieve for Peeta. He suffers the most in many ways and reflects that he might have been the one to save instead of Katniss. This was well down. I liked how he kept figuring into the books even though Gale looked like the more promising of the two. It is Peeta who grows and Gale who does not- well not much.
3. The books have a terrible beauty to them and the promises of hope turn out to be more internal than external. If you look for beauty you will find it in the ugliest and often most unlikely places. If you go to beautiful places you often find an ugliness there that defies understanding.

So my final judgement on the Collins' books. I would recommend reading them, but I would not own them. I think that they should have been rewritten one last time since for me there were things in them that robbed them of any lasting endearment. By contrast Harry Potter series has lots of more endearing and lasting impact in the story. I could see owning them in a collection one day. The stories are not unlike each other but at the end of things I will read Harry Potter again whereas I won't reread the Hunger Games.

In other news.
I find I want to write more and more as time passes. I am feeling an all consuming voice or voices surging within me. I know part of it is thanks to the Kindle -which has given me a freedom to read in many places I would have just surrender to the complexities that come with them. For me, John Manchip White's words of advice are becoming truer by the day.
"Mike, Reading is like inhaling of breath, and thus your writing must become its exhaling. If you want to write and write well, then read and read well."

In the end, I may become the Isaac Asimov of Blogging Fiction.

Life is funny.

I like doing this better than video games.
better than words with friends
better than sex (actually since I am not having sex nor about to- this is MUCH easier to say)

I also recognize that
if I met someone it all could change
but I suspect that I would write more rather than less

since
Life is funny that way.

Worn out and other inviting problems of modern day life

I have been so busy lately and so tired that getting through all the blogs sometimes makes me wonder if I have lost my mind somewhere along the way.
I finished Mockingjay yesterday. It was a mixed bag. I once told a Mel Gibson fan and friend of mine- that the reason that I could not enjoy THE PATRIOT was that it was too much tragedy, too much killing, too much pain. Now I suspect that Suzanne Collins has bypassed old Mel by miles and miles.
Mockingjay and the Hunger Games books have a similar problems.
I will list them in no certain order.
1. Katniss is really a confused teenager who is in no way an adult until the epilogue. What she faces as a character is unbelievably harsh and yet there are times when I want to take her out to her woods and yell at her to stop acting like a befuddle 16 year old and pick someone to love. Then I realize she is a befuddle 16 year old who would act this way. How in the heck is she supposed to understand love when everyone seems to be out to exploit her and or kill her? Still I wish that Collins would have given Katniss a break, like not killing Prim. Prim might have had to die, but I have a hard time with it. Katniss had pleanty of Motivation without it.
2. Why couldn't Madge have survived?  Back to the too much aspect and the general round robin beatings on Katniss' ego. What's worse was that Madge was in fact a really good character and it was a real waste to write her off as just another expendable. Her death was in fact meaningless in the extreme especially since she ended up having no key roll in the plot at all. Her surviving the books would have been at least some reprieve for Katniss- some connection that would have repaired some of the lingering damage.
3. The pods drove me crazy about midway through the capital. The book descended into a poorly thought out video game. Ironically I suspect if they end up making a movie of Mockingjay that the video game adaption will have even more pods in it. What pods really say to me, is that the author was not satisfied that her world was horrifying enough. Overkill in so many words and also robbed the meanings of the deaths of Katniss's companions. There are plenty of other options instead of resorting to this kind of "cheating." It all goes hand in hand with the "STEVEN SEAGAL" approach to the books where the point of the book is to rack up a visceral body count.
4. Finnick did not have to die- frankly I am surprised that he was there in the first place. He gets married and know 5 minutes of bliss then happily goes to his death instead of doing the most logical reasonable thing that he has been described as doing up until that point. HIS DEATH IS ALMOST THE MOST POINTLESS in all the books.
5. nuclear weapons. need I say more. (rhetorical question) Okay, let me clarify. Don't use stuff that you don't explain or want to actually deal with. It's like we got to have a reason that the Capitol and 13 don't wipe each other out- but the fact of wanting to regain the district intact is not enough. And then there is the chemical bombs- only mentioned in passing and never realized.
6. I really just felt that plot devices and gadgetry was used to invoke the tragedy and thus the point of the series instead of relying on drama and angst and conflict between the main characters There was plenty of that without all the sidetracks the books ended up taking.

Tomorrow, I will try to blog about what I liked about the books and why I might even read them again one day.
For the record. The Hunger Games was my favorite book out of the three.

thoughts on the infinite capacity to make a mockery of... well everything actually

Today has been another rainy day filled with a sweet sense of irony.
How can things be so completely chaotic in life as it is?
Confused? Little wonder there.
Scenario 1) I got a traffic ticket and for the life of me I can't pay it. Turns out the issuing cop has never filed it. In a perfect world the court clerks would have a clear cut off date. But they don't instead I spent about an hour today playing musical chairs with three clerks who continually denied and transferred me from one court to the next and back again. Final result. I need to find the cop who wrote the citation and find out if he is still going to prosecute it or not. Likelihood of this happening?
Zero.
Haven't found him so far nor gotten one clear answer except judging from the lack of progress one clerk has suggested that he has dropped it altogether but failed to make any formal statement to indicate to anyone he has in fact done anything except jerk my chain. I suspect that I will get to spend the next 2 days trying to get an answer that will lead me to the courtroom whether I want to go or not.

Where there are signs of life

Lately, I have been surrounded by weddings of strangers, friends and the memorials of strangers and friends. It is often overpowering how close death is to us as we go from day to day. I sometimes feel the weight of life pressing me flat as if preparing me for the habitual grave. I don't equate death with rest but sleep. The big sleep. You can probably guess what I do on long dark, lonesome nights.

Today, I found what rescuers and negotiators call the "proof of life" at the birthday for a cousin with a remarkable story all on her own. I can tell you a few things.
Amber has been given a new life from God. She is making good use of her own personal miracle. For me, Amber's story begins on a Maundy Thursday several years ago. For those of you who are religiously educated or go to a church that acknowledges Maundy Thursday- the significance of this might occur to you. To the rest of you who are about to start Googling this, I will explain what Maundy Thursday represents to me and many Episcopalians and probably several other high churches do too.
To be brief, Maundy Thursday is the day in which Jesus (who I call the Christ) shared the Last Supper with the Apostles and then was betrayed by Judas Iscariot as he prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane. He would have been delivered to the Sadducee and Pharisees  for trial and torture. It is marked by a evening/night time service in which all this is read from the bible and the altar and the church is stripped of all decorations, icons, relics, clothes, etc. It is a solemn and often heart wrenching service for me. Each year, I relive what I have imagine happened to Jesus that night and what happens to all those who have been betrayed and delivered into the wills of evil and hostile men. It seldom passes by each year, that I don't weep for what was done and what is still being done by men to other men, What was done to Jesus.

Okay, not so brief.

Amber had a Grand Mal Seizure on Maundy Thursday and for all intents and purposes died. Well, maybe died is too strong a word. It seemed a weak word for all those who were there that night. She was at Children's Hospital after taking an overdose of a powerful drug. At the time no one knew why or how. There was a lot of finger pointing and speculating. Through it all, one man had faith and held on to hope. Others hoped and gave up. I did. Others may have held on, but only her father held the line and refused to accept what seemed unavoidable.
The result?

In my view, Amber died that night and was reborn. The mystery and miracle of all this did not escape me.
It's my story of what happened. I suspect some people might disagree with me. I was there. I held her hand as I was sure she was slipping away from hope. I was there to see her open her eyes and look around at her new world. It did not solve world hunger or even make peace between her parents. It did not take affect immediately and her recovery has been slow and at the same time amazingly fast.

This is what I know as I sit here at the computer after going to her 16th birthday party.
What happened to Amber that night in April saved her father's life.
It gave hope where there was none.
It helped bring a lot of people together who would have always been strangers.
It brought the power of God into the lives of all of us, those who believed, those who only thought they believed and found they didn't and those who had not known to believe but now could.

If that is not a miracle. If there is no God. If there is only what the Atheists would have us believe it is still as un-explainable as  phenomenal as unprecedented as anything I have ever seen or live through in my life.

To me Amber is the promise of what all of us can be, can achieve if we choose to believe that it is possible.

So that is a lot to take in, but as Father Ross would say: "I got one more for you."

Sometimes miracles and love are right in front of you and you don't realize that you are looking at them.
I think about all the life that was around me today at Amber's party. It was held at My cousin Gary's house which was filled with happy people- well 99% of them were happy unless you count for the brief dramatic crisis-es of the really young children.
I will give you this proof of life in parcels.
1. 3 young girls, sisters. Amazing beautiful and surprising to someone like myself who can see them from over here. Their parents are fortunate though I wonder how often their father looks up from breakfast and know what a gift they are when they aren't feuding with each other and with their brother. The 4 of them must remind their mother, my cousin that some prices are worth paying every time. Theirs is a miracle all on their own and I am grateful that I am allowed brief glances into their lives. I can only hope that I might somehow help to enrich theirs as they have enriched mine.
2. 2 sisters, both mothers in their own rights, both successful although it probably is hard to see how successful at times. But again I am looking from way over here, I do know that the appearance often comes at a great cost to them and those around them BUT I am fortunate to have them to talk to and consider it my good luck to have someone to beat @ words with friends on a daily basis (oh and share books and thoughts with too).
3. There is this woman who always puts this idea in my mind that I should have a tiny book of Domestic Saints nearby. She is long suffering, always patient, never perfect but always loving and endearing and the best person one could hope for on a stormy day. She makes the best Chicken Casserole and Chicken Salad to boot.
4. Family- love them, dislike them, you might even want to hate some of them from time to time. I have to remind myself (since I believe in this stuff) that Family is a gift from God. If you have a family, most of the time they are worth finding, forgiving, and loving. Sometimes not but almost always better than having known. Just remember this, Family is not necessarily people who are blood/kin to you. My family includes people I am not related to directly.... well this is Tennessee- so you never know I may be a cousin after all.

That's it from Mike, I am off to write certain fiction and tell some awesome lies.

"It's what you learn after you know it all that counts." (John Wooden)
   

Lenore? quoth the Raven except I am too tired to ignore

Yep, the last few days have been exhausting with me working all day and then being too tired to blog except in snatches like Poe damned hero from the Raven.
tonight I will struggle through. I am reading Catching Fire this week and I have to say it is getting better by the chapter. What I am enjoying most is seeing Katniss transform from what she was into a hero. I have to hand it to the author.Reading it on the Kind has proven to be largely the reason for me doing it too. The Kindle is easy to use as long as you don't demand much from it.
I am fairly sure that I am going to start at least 1 more if not 2 more blogs (just so I can really torture myself with keeping them all updated since 6 is not enough right now. But I must stop this one as my mind and hands are no longer agreeing on what I am typing exactly.

Here I sit constantly tapping over a piece of forgotten Lore

Sometimes my life feels like a Edgar Allan Poe Poem. Lenore forevermore!
In other news, I finished The Hunger Games on my Kindle yesterday (my first fully read ebook and Kindle book- even though I have had a ebook reader on my cell phone which I never used more than out of morbid curiousity)
What did I think of The Hunger Games?
The short answer is that I liked it.
The long answer is more complex.
1. I liked how it was not a book like Battle Royale which was a rampant blood fest. What I mean is that the main characters did not wade into the action like Steven Segal and start tallying up a body count. Katniss only kills a one person directly, the rest of her kills are indirect albeit intentional. She comes through the book changed but she isn't a cold blooded killer with a notebook full of one liners.
2. I liked everything but the weird Mutt-werewolf-things. They were too much. I won't say that I did not get the sense of something more but rather it was a convenient plot device that was poorly executed. I would have rather seen Peeta and Katniss confront the killer Cato and defeat him in combat then face their own dilemma then the way it was played out instead.
3. The best part of the first book was the memories of Katniss as they formed a more complete picture of her world than her present. It was a very good use of flashback and worked effectively in keeping me interested in the principle characters that have been introduced.
4. The worst part of the book was the total lack of reality when it comes to cameras and how they could or could not work. I guess this comes from being a camera/tv/video professional. There was no science in the science fiction on this one (let me clarify): while I appreciate the story being told from Katniss' experience and knowledge- there were things that were fully explained that she probably did not actually know like the nature of several of the weapons, the workings of the arena. I could suspend my disbelief on these things since it was sufficiently backed up. My problem with the cameras goes like this:
      1. Cameras are troublesome at best of times. Light exposure/color temperature/white balance non-withstanding. For the cameras to be unseen is one thing but to hide them and then have them see inside caves, in trees, in sleeping bags and the like is almost too much of stretch. The only explanation the author gives is through a tiny implant that Katniss and the other tributes are impregnated with. There are no visible signs that this is anything other than a tracking device rather than some kind of camera. If it were a camera how could it see/film itself?
    2. If the cameras are coming from satellites then why not say so. If they are they bust be using a completely fictional format since the can see through solid and liquid objects. differentiate without much inference and what is more be amazingly selective all without being seen by any of the characters except when the plot necessitates it.

More tomorrow on The Hunger Games 

Life & it's complications

So here we are on Wednesday unblogged for last few days. Unblogged is my new word for being unplugged from being up for blogging
I am making this post from my cell. One digit iPhone typing is much fun!

Why I don't like funeral but like memorials

The person in the casket never looks like the person I had known before. What is more, it is not how I want to remember them anyway. That isn't them not to me.
At a memorial, we celebrate that person's life while most of the funeral's I have been to inevitably come down to the point of conversion/saving the survivors. Funerals make me want to run in the opposite direction. And I am already "saved."
Ray's Funeral is better and worse.
Good things are said about Ray. Beautiful Hymns are sung, but not the one hymn I most associated with him. The one he quoted in most of his blogs. I find it odd that it is not sung. Not even as I stood at his grave. Part of me wanted to start singing "Live for others every day."
But I don't.
Instead I stand there and realize that while I knew Ray all my life, I did not know his family and the only real knowledge I have of any of them came for the book. I feel like a voyeur with them. Having watched but never participated. Feeling intrusive on their grief even though mine threatens to consume me.
I dread the knowledge that Ray was my part of this world and now it is over.
Life has a way of ending things for me.
I would be one of the first in line if you could recreate a moment in time passed where you were content and stay there for the rest of your life.

I know that in actuality I am my own world and that is were I need to live. Not in this fragile one where I am constantly the stranger.

I understand it but even in the overcast gloom of the graveyard, the birds still sing and the grass still grows and my thoughts are like blades of grass bending in the wind.

Reflections

Here I am sandwhiched between funerals and weddings again, thinking about life and the nature of existence. It is time consumming. I just finished an edit of a memorial from March 30 which I had  to put on hold for a run of weddings. This was after having to put a wedding edit on hold for a run of funerals (well memorial services).  Progress is  being made.

I do have to say that the most satisfying thing I have done lately was  to break down and buy a Kindle 4 (4th generation, Ink display). I am reading The  Hunger Games at last and it is better than I expected. The world of the  book is  a bit deeper than I was led to believe and the characters a bit more involved. Katniss is better developed than i expected
Having said this,  I look forward to the other books to flesh out the world a  bit more, obviously district 13 is the most interesting feature of this future world. What it  reminds me most of is a show called Jeremiah with a little  mad max beyond thunderdome to mix it up with.
At least, it makes no pretense at being better than it is.
At least there is  humor in it, even  if it is  a bit forced.
At least there is an direct attempt at plot complications even  if is a bit obvious and predictable.
I would give it 3 out  of 5 for  juvenile fiction at this point (chapter 5) and 3 of 5 in the  sense of regular fiction. In science fiction (and I mean books not the other stuff) it  more like a 2 of 5. My reasons for this is the book (so far)  is  largely conjectural relying  on providences already in place based on the assumption that you have
A. read books before
B. Seen  some Post apocalyptic movies/TV (this one  is pretty hard to escape)
C. have some rudimentary idea of the US without any  real  practical  knowledge of the US (take a look at  other post apocalyptic movies)
D. will accept  shallow descriptions  of places. (which is okay,, but relying on people  to understand that the  Seam is this place and then just refering to it over and over again does not give you anyreal picture of it except as a shanty town outside some coal mine) The Seam is a good word but cries for description. One  impression I get from the  book is that there are 12  districts that have one town apeice in them which is largely in ruins. What I don't get is any impression of the  land  itself. What is  it  like? Is it a bombed out wasteland like Fallout or  the Postman. Is it a wilderness growing over past civilizations. Books like this just let the readers make all kinds of assumptions about landscapes that are familiar.
Is it important? To me  it is,  because every time i read a book like  this I amm  thinking how does my worlds compare with this one?

And as Stephen says. That's the W0rd.
(even  though  I just said a bunch of them)

In Between a rock and a hard place

It's often a  long shot when refering to rocks and hard places. I have to ask how  hard is the hard place exactly and the answer comes back: "Well Mike, it depends if it rained last night or not."
That's  what I  get for asking.
This has been a long  week for me AND it is not over by a long shot.
Tonight, I videoed and recorded the Memorial of a very  brave and honest woman,, Beth Boatner. I had forgotten how  Beautiful she was until I saw the video that was  playing at the reception. Some people can  live whole lives in a short amount of time while many of us live short lives in a much longer amount of time. Will it be all summer  in one day or  marking time in a  cardboard box  on the edge of eternity.
I helps to have faith at times like this.
It doesn't  have to be Faith in God (though  I would rather have that too) It just needss to be faith in goodness  and  love.
The most  important thing is love. Not romantic love (though I hear that doesn't hurt as bad as the books tell us it  does) but the  love of people  and from people around you. I would rather have love than money. It is a lot less lonely at the end  of the day with someone to talk to than to compare notes with-  well bank notes.

Tomorrow is the funeral of my dearest friend Ray White. Then we  bury him Saturday morning and I do a wedding Saturday Evening.
At the end of all things, sometimes it is best to mix sorrow and joy. As Ray would say: "Life has given me both great sadness and great joy. Each day is a blessing."

I might be in a  place  between the rock and a  hard spot, the frying pan and the fire; but it is a good spot to be in. I would say to all of you: Find  someone to love. Find Something to Enjoy.
And treasure them,  dearly.
You don't have  to be alone to  be lonely.

You are never alone unless you want to be alone.
You don't have  to be with someone  all the time to have them to love and for  them to love you back.
I will quote Sting. "If you love someone, set them free."
If it is a cat make sure you don't set them free where your feeding your birds...

Today I say see you later to my Best Friend

This morning around 10am, My Best Friend "Dad" passed on from this life. I am a believer as was he in God and the infinite promise of a father's love for his children, a creator's love for his creation. "Dad" was not my father- not my biological father, but he was as close to me as my own biological father. He had always been there for me especially during the years that I had lost contact with my biological father.
He always told me that I was his best friend and that he loved me.
He never spoke an unkind word to me.
He never lost patience with me.
He even apologized once when he thought he had said too much but for me had said too little.
I have never known another man as good as he was to me and everyone and everything around him.
I know that he was not perfect and he was a man, but he was the best kind of man. A man that I aspire to be.

I loved Ray White as much as I have ever loved any relative or friend. To me he was both and the best. There is only 2 other people that I have loved more.

I had the distinct pleasure to co-write/edit, design and publish the book Dad, the Tomato Man: Coffee and Conversation with America's Oldest Blogger, Ray White, which was published just under a month ago. I am so pleased that he lived long enough to read it, post it on his blog and sell some copies. I learned more about a man I have known almost all of my 43 years on this world. The more I learned the deeper the respect and admiration I had for this man who would call himself my friend.

There are still copies of his book available to anyone who is interested, let me know if you are @ mikemumbled@gmail.com and I will see about getting you a copy. Ray would have wanted that.

He always started and finished his blogs by saying "Time is so precious, do not waste it." and "Live for others every day, be a blessing will you may."
I will finish the thought like this by paraphrasing one of his favorite hymns:
"Be ever so kind and always be true, Jesus-like in all you say and do."

You may not believe in Jesus, but only a fool would say what Jesus represents is not the right way one should strive to live. Anyone who would say that need only look at Ray White and see that he lived out what he believed to be true everyday.

Bye, Bye Dad- I will see you later.

Several Confessions of a serial individualist!

"Remember, when you're with me, it's the only time you're not the strangest person in the room. So go ahead, get weird with me."
                                                                                                         Ally McBeal

It probably sounds better coming from Ally McBeal than it does coming from me.

I don't do stereotypes. I do my best to reject generalizations. BUT THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS PRONE TO BROAD SWEEPING GENERALIZATIONS!

Hereby I shall confess to my own flaws and thus you may understand why getting weird with me does not involve the necessary loss of clothing or dignity that our language implies.

1. I am actively not a racist but I am racist. what I mean is that I try to not be racist towards people (including those damnable whiteys). The downfall of any reasonable human being is in generalities which are inescapable with our current level of English. One would have to revamp the entire nature of plural usage to completely avoid it. When discussing any group of people no matter how small or insignificant we all inevitably face the certainty of having to use them. Racism spawns from the idea of them. I am a racist because I grew up in a predominantly white South African and White American South Dixieland Cultures. Both cultures have Black Racism down to it roots on a variety of levels- some of it is very negative, some would be described as harmless. Regardless (and believe me I could write this entire blog on it) Racism factors into who I am. I reject it but do not deny it. I have to constantly ask myself why something offends me, why does this person upset me and so on. I do not engage in hatred of any general group or classification of people but it was bred into me by the environment and people that surrounded me. I do not blame them since I recognize that Xenophobia s exist in almost every culture and place on this planet anyway.
2. I am not a sexist... unless I am trying to get a rise out of someone else. I do not actually believe  that a man is a better driver, cook, house cleaner, bigger slob, lazy in bed than a woman. Adversely, I do not actually believe for a second that a woman is a better parent, cook, house cleaner, maid, scientist or lover. Sexism is sneakier that other failures and generalities since it is ingrained in everyone's psyche from birth by everything around us. There is no escaping it and it is even more prevalent in non-western societies. Is it wrong. In a word? Yes. But (and there is always a but) it doesn't have to be. What I mean by that is that a man or a woman can be anything and while some may see it as sexist, that person doesn't have to think of it in that way. If that person is complacent in allowing the labeling or defining of what they are doing or choose to be doing then they are not doing themselves any favors and are thus contributing to  problems of Sexism. I am a sexist when I want to be (yeah I know that is sounds paradoxical) because I wish to point out that someone is expecting me to reinforce the idea or suggest that the idea is somehow okay. No I don't want a little woman who greets me at the door my my slippers and newspaper, who has the house clean and supper cooked. If she chooses to do those things then it is here choice not mine. What I would want is someone who would know that I want her to choose.
3. I am not prejudice but then again I am fallible. What I mean and have meant is that despite my upbringing and the cultures that I have lived in. That despite what people expect of me. Despite of religions, churches, doctrines and credos I choose who and what I am. It is my responsibility to myself to not be prejudice. Let me say that as you get older, not being prejudiced gets harder. The very nature of prejudice spawns from experience. The longer you have lived, the more that you have seen tends to make you expect certain behaviors from certain classifications of people which ironically you have classified. Everyone is prejudiced in some way, it is unavoidable as a human being and most likely by any living creature. It is tied into your ability to survive. You prejudge situations and environments and the same through your experience or relying on another's experience. The major difference (to me) is that you separate prejudgement from prejudice by saying this to yourself (over and over again as the need arises) People are people unless they choose to be someone else or something else- wait and see. You can be prepared but shooting first may insure your survival but I doubt very seriously that it will be good fro your soul or anyone EVER inviting you over for dinner again.

         Why does any of the above make me weird? Not sure, but I believe it is because I think about it a lot.

I define and redefine who and what I am every day. So tomorrow, I might just do some more confessing (yes I recognize the incongruity of saying I am a serial individualist).

Until tomorrow, my friends (and yes that can include everyone )

Today is my birthday

Well this blog today will mostly be a series of random thoughts that may actually connect down there (down there-look down but not yet))

I officially - well by US standards turned 43 today. I found a thing I wrote on my 35th and 38th birthdays concerning poetry- you will have to look at that blog to see it- (link in the sidebar)

Unofficially I haven't turned 43 yet until South African time- 8 hours or some such nonsense - (unless you live in SA) past 5pm.
I am told I was a planned and yet unplanned miracle born on Wednesday evening in Johannesburg - which is now known as a facial grimace and gutteral noise (Guateng or something)

I got to go and see my therapist this morning and tell him what it is like to find out that people love you and think that you are important. very important.
it is something to say that you matter to people.

I have been alone a long time. An author I am reading says that you can be alone and not know you are lonely until you meet someone who makes you realized that you were longing for company all the while.

I am going to say, "Get Well Ray White- Dad." Even though he won't be reading this. "Just because you are 98 and 1/2 does not mean it is time for you to checkout!"

I will come back and say something equally odd and somehow strangely related soon.

But I think only after I get some Sushi- a Dinosaur roll is roaring my name.

Avengers and the fine art of staying up late and getting up early

I went to see The Avengers movie last night- well actually this  morning  at 12:02am- mind you  it was closer to 12:30 am byt the time the previews were done and the movie started. The movie  was most enjoyable, humorous and awesome all at  once. The eye-candy was everywhere and the plot surprisingly engaging and intense. Most people will be lost however, since  there are many references to the other marvel movies (Thor, Hulk, Captain America, Iron Man)- well lost at times. The movie itself is strong enough to carry itself without the other movies BUT I  think it was better for them since even the minor (supporting characters) all had good on screen drama and emotional moments.
This movie definitely makes the top of my Action Movies for  the year and definitely in the top 10  (so  far) for movies  in general.

The company  I had for the Movie was awesome. Mr. Davis was as ever a good  companion- very geekish and knowledgeable. I enjoy his company immensely. Even his friends who came to the  movie were very appealing and friendly. All in all I had a great night.
The added bonus was the guy passed out  dead (asleep) in  the front row after  the movie. We tried to wake him and failed. I agree with JD- the guy had been  drinking. The manager revived  him and he did stumble out into the night and hopefully got home okay.

The next morning.
As with staying up late period, mornings are harder than others. Looking at 43 years on this rock, getting up in the mornings presents a new challenge that is often delayed until 9am. (you younguns still probably manage to stay in bed until sunset but Us old folks seldom make it past 9am).

To all those looking  for the other blogs,  I will be posting  them this  evening.

As always and since it  is the first time  here (nevermind)
I bid you  all a good day and will see you on the flipside.

Michael

Things that make you go Hmmm

Last night as I was wondering the world of Azeroth as my imaginary and thus virtual self, I got a message from eBay- not actually that way- that would disturbing- getting ebay message in WOW (ick)
Anyway- I got this message from a buyer on eBay that the video card I sent him was crap and he wants a refund. It that had been it - I would be fine, but no. Mr. Buyer than has to inform me that the card had encounter the random monster called static electricity while it was being shipped to him and this was why he wanted to return the item. Because he got the card which was not in an officially state-sanctioned antistatic bag and placed it in his win 7 64bit computer and it DIDN'T WORK!
I replied and said the following:
(not exact words) Uhmmm. static electricity? the card is not win 7 compatible, but go ahead and return it for a refund anyway.
This morning, I get a message on how mr. PC consultant has packaged and returned the item. AND A FULL PAGE WIKIPEDIA LEVEL ENTRY ON HOW everything he believes about the card works in the known (his known) universe works.
1. did you know that all hardware is compatible with all hardware? well all PC hardware is compatible with all POC hardware and it is ONLY the drivers that determine compatibility? No?
2. that if nvidia makes it there is a compatible driver for it? No?
3. that if you are a computer consultant than you understand the science of static electricity to the extent that you can explain how two plastic bags- one with metal fiber and one without can defend against all this static electricity running amok in the USPostal system? No? well If I were YOU, I would be very careful the next time I checked the mail!
4. I can type this all in nice neat orderly paragraphs with nice punctuation
"I am packaging up (in your original packaging) and shipping back to you at the address indicated on the package for full refund.
Thank You.

Dave R.

Note: I am a computer consultant who is both a techncian and programmer with 18 years experience. The video card hardware itself is not (in)compatible with an operating system, only with other hardware - in this case the card requires a PCI Express x16 slot/system BIOS. The machine in which I installed it is brand new and has a PCI Express x16 v2.x slot in addition to several x1 slots.

It's the DRIVER software that may or may not be compatible with the operating system - in this case Windows 7. NVIDIA is the manufacturer of the chipset that drives the video card (MSI just purchases the GPU - graphics processing unit - from NVIDIA and adds whatever flourishes they want to the card). NVIDIA makes the driver software and fully supports this card in both 32-bit and 64-bit versions of Windows 7.

This card is not even being detected by the physical computer itself, let alone Windoss - it does not show up in the BIOS as being installed even though it's correctly in the slot.

Also - FI - Static electricity is a common killer of electronics (even more so in dry weather) and it is important to not touch circuits unless you are grounded and to store/ship them in antistatic containers."

nice punctuation- see?

things that make me go hmmm.

There are holes up there.

1. Microsoft determines compatibility by and large. They have an extensive list of compatible hardware and questionable compatibility hardware. 

2. Nvidia didn't make the card, Gigabyte made (or had the card made by a third party unnamed vendor) and they dropped a nvidia chip on it. The Gigabyte website says the card is not compatible with win 7. So while Nvidia drivers for some cards are compatible it does not mean all NVidia cards are capable of even compitible with all versions of windows

3. Nevermind that it largely depends on the motherboard that all this is plugging into. Not all motherboards were created equal otherwise budget boards and computers would be frolicking with high end software and computer games.

case in point. USB 3.0 - USB3.0 depends on things that no one lists on stuff like Power requirements, BUS speeds, Bandwidth of the PCI slot. Firmware drivers, software drivers. 

in short you can buy a PCI-Express USB 3.0 card BUT it does not mean that USB3 device you have (Blackmagic Intensity Shuffle) will work on any motherboard or computer (HP AMD Quad core).

4. Static electricity by and large no longer is a valid threat to most computers, or computer parts,If one looks at the origianl anti-static bags- they were more metal than plastic back in the day and looks at what passes for one now (mostly plastic with some metal fibers) one might think that either the industry has gotten to be cheapskates about it or the threat was never all that real.

a 286/386/486 motherboard was quite sensitive to ESD (electro Static Discharge) But since we are well past 686 motherboard architecture I seriously doubt it is much of an issue anymore.

NOTE: evidence for this is much the same as the bag materials. Once upon a time a computer tech had to put the shoes covers on, walk on anti ESD mats and wear these ridiculous straps while they worked (I even got a couple of them) all of it was awkward and uncomfortable and got in the way all of the time.

These days, some tech wear special latex gloves when dealing with computer parts- mostly to prevent the transfer of body oils onto electronic parts not to stop ESD.

Once there was a HUGE AND I MEAN HUGE DEBATE on whether a tech should leave a PC plugged in or not when working on it. Leaving it plugged in would ground the PC. But with newer motherboard I.E. 586 on motherboards which keep a constant flow of electricity going through them even when turned "off" the Most techs who valued thier skins rejected this thought line. the advice then was to "ground" yourself by touching or staying in contact with the metal case at all times. Given the continued tight confines of most cases this is unavaiodable but the interest thing to note (if you have falled completely asleep by now) is that no one not even the hard core geeks and nerd breath a word about ESD anymore.

BOTTOM LINE: (yes you can skip to this section and avoid my entire tirade altogether)

I bet good money I will drop this card in a PC when it arrives and it will work fine.

I bet that I will still not give much of a damn whether the buyer is a PC consultant or a Microsoft Technician in 15 minutes

I bet that I will resell the card regardless since I have free shipping on it

and you can bet that I nodded and thanked him for his input and assured him I would give him a refund even if I were going HMMM or grinding my teeth.

and that is the tech life according to Mike.

On Weedeating and tilting with Windmills

When one proposes to eat weeds, one should consider the right tools of the trade. Also one should acquire a taste for perspiration and bits of grass. Weedeating is a dying art of desperation and bugspray. A fading craft of luck and humus spread among the dodgy field of lilies and roses. One should never weedeat to long or hold the weedeater to high. Also one should remember that if he or she has any strength in their thumb that tuning the spring can wait until summer unless of course you can mow it first. Then my dear readers, then you should definitely turn off your ipod and concentrate on what you set out to do instead of mixing metaphors, music and poetry while doing basic yardwork.
As to tilting with windmills, that is a matter of some difference. My advice is as follows- note not necessarily in the order given.
1. Always check the height of the obstacle against what you can manage- you will fall of less ladders this way.
2. Remember to check your weapons, tools, paperwork first, best be prepared for what can happen then wait until you find out a little to late that you needed a fork instead of a spoon, ink over pencil, phillips over standard, aaa or 9volt and so forth.
3. Always have an escape plan (Q was right about this one) bow out gracefully but make sure you can always bow out.
4. Accept defeat as a means of learning how to gainsay victory in the next engagement. One must understand his foe in order to someday best it.
5. It never hurts to go back and read the instructions a third or fourth time- I would advise checking often especially when dying your hair or in my case goatee. let's just say that hair dye is never as dark wet as when dried.
6. Always think through what you are doing and watch for signs of danger- like for instance if you slipped on the grassy slope without any weight then perhaps when you go back down said slope you don't carry that large sheet of glass in front of you.
7. never go it alone if you can avoid it. If you have to jump off a bridge talk someone into going with you, that way if you survive you can have a good laugh about it instead of crawling back up and hearing them say- "I told you so."

now armed with this advice remember to:
1. floss before and after most meals unless you are sitting at a table with your girlfriends parents
2. look both ways when crossing the street and keep looking because one glance is never enough.
3. Mind your p's and q's especially when dealing with your elders, police officers and angry balding short white men.
4. tell your mother you love her at every oppurtunity. as far as your dad is concerned- if you are a girl just smile and say something like "Oh daddy." He'll know. If you are a guy just grunt and nod, if he thinks you love him then you might want to ask for more money if not no one loses face.
5. always take time to reassure your pets that they are the most important things in your life and that you will feed them soon. Even if they aren't and you forgot to buy the pet food..again!
6. Tell your significant other that you love them more than the stars above and keep going until they start nodding yes. If you have no significant other, you can try this on a stranger or a friend but remember rule number 3 from above.
7. Read my blogs dangit. Because if you don't bad luck, fleas and a plague of rubber frogs will rain continuously from the sky until you do. Okay, probably not, but you never know it might happen.


Quote of the Day:
"If you haven't tried, you haven't lived."
                                    (Meet Joe Black)


Quotient of the Day:
"Seven divided by three is probably not four but could be almost 2.9565656."

Leading lives of quiet and not so quiet desperation

Sometimes I feel like Jack Handy and I are brother or twins and waxing philosophic about something amusing and true to life will open some greater appreciation of life. But then I remember that this is SNL we are talking about and the writers of the show might take exception to me personifying their work as some great movement of personal angst and philosophy.
So as I sit here contemplating another day where I have not wasted the moment, I have given my time and effort to helping others achieve a greater connection to the infinite (well the internet anyways) and partially assured a distinct lack of latency in future raiding instances in Warcraft by ordering them a new 100 foot of pristine rj45 Cat 5e cable- I can say job well done to myself and eat another Swedish fish.
Part of writing really long sentences is the joy of knowing that some grammar Nazi out there is either about to need more ant-acid or go looking for his stein (hopefully to toast with Lager and not a firing squad). Now I will pause and consider another yummy gummy and add that I may have helped encouraged a bright young girl to want to learn to read.
These are perilous times for random thinkers indeed. Attention spans being what they are and all, one must be careful not to stray to far off topic or eat too many Swedish fish.
I will however put this down on paper or at least this virtual script that today was a mostly good day. I will leave you with this, one of my favorite quotes.

"I am feeling pretty good about myself today. So far I haven't cursed, been angry with anyone, lost my temper or done anything out-of-sorts or thoughtlessly. So far today I haven't drank or smoked or frowned, or given anyone a hard time. And that's really great! But in a few minutes I am going to get out of bed and that point- I'm going to need a lot of help!"


Good Night you Princes of New England, and Queens of New York!