I would have called this the Weekly Update,but...

I am a man of constant humor and never can one say that I pass up the chance to make a joke at any expense, especially at my own expense.
I am like Robin Williams, determined to laugh when all I really feel like doing is crying for myself and the world at large.
Humor might be the best medication but for the tragic wit like myself it is my whiskey and rye.
If I can't laugh then there is not much point to getting out of bed in the morning.
If you saw me, however, you'd never think I ever laughed at all or anything.
I ain't exactly a joyful being.

Probably need to get laid.

Not surprisingly, more and more people who know me, tend to let that one slip recently.

Because the truth of life is, if you want to look happy and glow, have sex.
Frankly since I haven't ever had successful sex, i will just have to take the fuckers word for it.
(it was necessary for the joke- I am going to blame Father Rasnick for that one, first joke he ever told me involved a italian bricklayer and a reputation, ruined my innocent soul, it did)

But I digress.

I need to write more so as part of my resolutions I am going to attempt a weekly blog that is just a general ramble of things. If something comes up, I will make a special blog for that at the appropriate point.


Since it is music that makes the world go around, here is one of my all time favorite songs to start us of in a very different way:

So, Nathan and his sister Eva are recent discoveries. They aren't the best unless you count effort as part of it. I am enjoying their music right now.

So what else is new or old or otherwise?
I can't tell you, it's confidential or I have no confidence I can tell you.

There's yet another Fantastic Four movie that will explain for the the fourth time why they are fantastic. Yes, 4 times. Each time has had it's own version of suck..
Let us count the ways.
1) 1978. TV The torch was kicked in favor of a robot named herbie....fail, fail, fail. fail.
2) 1994  Roger Corman's jewel of a horribly under budget film disaster that everyone (including IMDB) has apparently agreed to ignore.
3) 2005 I had hopes for this one, but the folks at 20th century fox wanted a more modern retelling and apparently had never actually read the comic book. So, yes, another epic disaster wherein Doctor Doom, perhaps the most fearsome of all Marvel villians was reduced to a slimy, conniving asshole. Jessica Alba was hot although her powers were lamely presented and the most memorable things was her showing up naked (well mostly naked) several times. (the rise of the silver surfer was infinitely worse but it's a sequel and I am skipping it)
4) 2015 Time for  a much needed reboot they tell me, and it looks cool but they have already thown the comic book plot out the window and changed the nature (and race) of several of the characters in the standard vainglorious attempt at wider appeal. So I am predicting that it will be another fail since, apparently, no one will trust that a comic book plot is good enough for a movie.

Well, look at the time. Commercial Break!
after we come back, I will attempt to explain the Republican primaries while humming the star spangled rapsong and riding a mule backwards.
or you can take it from me that this is life according to Mike.

Well, I should have seen that one coming.

So this week, my fanpage on Facebook hit 10,000 likes with a daily post reach of 90% (roughly 9035 people interacting with the page). I am one of the few page admins, I know, who pay a lot of specific attention to the page analytics and try to keep in step with what that data suggests about the fans of my page.

The Deadpool Fool

Does this give me any credibility?

Depends on who you ask.

Mostly people are impressed until they find out what or rather who Deadpool is.

Then it's like "why would you even be associated with that?"

Because I hate football.

and baseball

and broccoli.

Broccoli? But Mike it has protein!

Sure it does, but it gives me gas.

Oh.

I mean I Fart all-

I really don't want to know, thanks.

Well you asked...

I was just saying why would you use Deadpool Fool as proof that you know how to use Facebook better than the game playing housewives and puppy posting cat lovers that spend their entire days trolling around for the cute?

I think you just answered you're own question, there, Frank.

Can I turn this formula to my blogs for instance?

I don't know, I haven't tried it yet.

having to tag blogs and make friends with other bloggers is a bit harder since finding bloggers like me has really happened yet.

maybe tomorrow.

In the meantime, it would be nice for someone to come by and recognize that I got my *&%$! together and say I think you get it Mike.

Also can you turn my knitting fan page into a page that the kids will love?

uhm. look at the time!

and that's life according to Mike

New Years Resolutions or Lies we mean to be true but probably will regret in December.

Well, it's that time again when society and your friends and family (mostly your Mum) expect you to say: 
"This year is going to be different."
which means Resolutions.

I have already got my prelim from my Mother.

So here are my New Year Resolutions.

1. Write More. Especially on Legacy of Thorns.
2. Be Happier. This will be hard- I don't want to deprive my boss his wine and cheese comments
3. Be less sad. probably won't happen, the world is filled with sadness.
4. Be more Sociable. Well we'll just have to see about it, then.
5. take up archery. I had a dream, long story but there was a woman who looked like Pepper Pots in it and no it wasn't a sex dream, get over it.
6. stop feeling guilty for not doing everything my mother suggests I do.
7. survive going back to South Africa. Hell, I might even enjoy it.
8. Lose weight without going insane in the process or eating yucky food to do it. self-explanatory
9. Write even more blogs.
10. Move out of my cottage and back into the city.

There you have it. There are probably more, but now I want to act irresponsibly and play video games

and that is the new year, so far, according to Mike.

Another Pass around the Sun is done

Time for my semi annual review of 2014 because everyone else is doing one.
but first I have some thing to confess to you who avoid facebook.
since this is the end of 2014, I have a few things to confess.
1) I am jealous of women. yep the whole lot of you.
2) I no longer crave candy. Sorry M&M's.
3) I was never in love with the Big Blue Frog. Call off Valentine's
4) I an African-American. I have it on the best authority.
5) I am not black or white or pink or blue, well I might be pink so there is that.
6) I love my brother and sisters two. I thought it was surprising at the time.
7) I have, in fact, never been in love. Unless you count Aeryn Sun and Root Beer.
8) I can't remember the last time I kissed a woman. Also, I can't remember the last time I kissed a frog. I am still trying to forget the last time I kissed a dog. I do remember the last time I kissed a man... but I swear it didn't mean anything.
9) I am only as half as crazy as most people assume me to be. Also, i am only crazy on days where I have to breath, other than that i am perfectly sane.
10) MY favorite color is red...well on good days when I can tell red from brown anyway.
11) I am going to blog about this. this is some good stuff.
12) I have 97 friends one facebook, which is good since I gained more this year than lost, and I only unfriended one person or was that 2 people? Don't ask me to name any of them. I can't remember I and I am too tired to make up their names.
and
13) because my second fav # is 13.
I do lie on occasion, mostly out of a imaginary need to impress myself into thinking that I need to know something or have been somewhere or met someone because i don't want to be that person who hasn't. Also, I lie very well when I right but these days I can't keep a straight face when I tell a lie on purpose.

Having cleared the air on all that, I have to say I feel better.

So, that was 2014, 

• I got older. I hope a little wiser and mindful to take less of life as seriously.
• I started working out 2-3 days a week and am fitter for it.
• I did not lose much weight and gained more despite giving up so much of what I had been eating
• I remembered a lot of things that might have been better that I hadn't remember because reliving them was hellacious.
• I got my father back.
• I wrote a boat load of good poetry and some awesome fiction to boot.
• I finished and published a book for a friend at a tidy profit.
• I found some new friends
• I decided to move out on my own and surprisingly my mother took it amazingly well considering I almost didn't tell her.
• I survived another election year, and decided that I might go in for being seriously non-political. It didn't work.
• I gave up soft drinks with anything other than real sugar in them which basically meant just about every softdrink.
• I learned that I am an empath and only distance keeps my safe from being drug along on other's emotional rollercoaster and that my only real defence is to push people away by being a jerk or at best be a smartass.
• I learned that I can cry and that my tears are pretty much endless.
• There is a lot of sadness in life
• I lost my dog through a series of unfortunate events.
• I realized that I am probably the most guilty man in the world only because I feel guilt nor because I really do anything wrong.
• I learned that sometimes life is just like a song.
• I also learned that much more than this is going to be boring.

and that was 2014 according to mike!