Monday, March 28, 2016

What can I say. I panicked, I had a Jean val Jean moment and then I panicked

Being a man is almost as hard as being a woman (I suspect) and not as easy as just being an orangoutang (or so I have been told- although he did just roll over and show me his butt).
Being human is hardest when the definition of such seems so fluid these days that to admit mortality is a sure fire way to end up on a social media firing line dodging bullets.
speaking of bullets, the rest of this post will now be in bullets since much of this is just a pack of ideas.
  • I have to admit that I am, in fact, a man. As a man, I am under constant scrutiny by the masses (them) the unseen but often felt pressure of expectation to be more manly. Vague definitions of what it really is to be a man (such as: Sexism, machoism, chauvinism, somethingelse-ism, etc) come and go as I struggle to understand what I am to believe makes me a man. I usually look to Kipling to fill me in on this subject: If
  • I am Human. What does that mean is less important than what it should it should mean.
    Mostly it ends up being taken as being fallible or claiming to be fallible. I guess if you were a god then you'd refer to that as being infallible but since I am not a god (even in my own mind)- I wouldn't actually know what being godly was even though it is my name's sake namesake? But I digress. I am human- as the 80's song says "born to make mistakes" which is kind of fatalistic, don't you think?
  • I am not a woman although sometimes I catch myself wishing things had gone differently at birth. My brother might have actually been nice to me instead of seeing me as competition and trying to do me in with his toys. I might have been married by now, although this is grossly unfair since it is a misconception that it is easier for a woman to get a man then the other way around. Still, at my weaker moments I wonder if I would have had an easier time with my own sexuality anyway.
  • I am a "straight" white male. Perhaps the worst thing is to realize that you are the stereotype of a man. I am not actually straight. One of my homosexual friends laughed when I asked them if they thought I was gay, she shook her head and said: "Oh Mike, you aren't straight, you're just bent." She's also the one who told me that it was too bad I wasn't a woman. No wonder I am such a basket-case. Another woman, one whom I had spent a lot of time convincing myself that I was really, madly, truly in love with told me that I was really bisexual because homosexuality didn't immediately upset me or make me ill.  She was a piece of work, she was- she's currently a upper class white conservative straight woman. I think she's happy as that, happier then when she wasn't any of those. But I digress, this isn't about her, it's about me. I am not a straight white male, I am just a sexual one who is particularly inept at being with anyone.
  • I am not a character archetype. I know what some of you will say. It's funny in a macabre point of view. I am a 40 something white overweight single man who lives with his mother. How many character types does that fit? 4 main ones often profiled by the police and the FBI.  Serial Killer. Rapist, Child Molester, and traditional Irish son. You were going to say something like terrorist or hacker or 3 time loser- or gay man. Mostly, it's accidental, because life just happens to turn out that way. I am stuck and I know it. I don't want to be stuck though.
  • I stopped this morning and realized that if I hoped to call myself Christian I would probably come under the same fire as calling myself a liberal. Because, as many of you know, it's a sin to be liberally minded. Jesus was obviously not a socialist or a liberal...because they had not been invented yet. He couldn't be a republican because the roman were the republicans. The greeks were democrats and the jews were being blamed for everything. I read all that on the internet, I did. Just go take a look at Christian MEMES, also Han Solo and the Jedi are really Christians too. And Jesus has conversations with Batman and Superman and Spiderman about what a real hero is like. I understand the need for this kind of conversion or inclusion but mostly it just confuses the heck out of me. Is Darth Vader as Satanist or a Roman. Is Yoda Moses? Just nod if you get the point, it's safer that way.
  • I am a Christian and I do attend church (with the little c) I work for a Church (with the big C) and that's hard. I define myself based on the teachings of Jesus who is called the Christ as best as I can find and understand what others said that he said. Why? Because I know that it right for me, and I have faith enough to know it is truth. Other than that, it is the best way I see to live. I read the rest of the bible from time to time but the law according to Jesus' ministry is my Law. The rest either supports that or I choose to ignore it (for a variety of reasons but mostly it has to agree with my understanding/faith or I will have no part of it.) Yes I am christian but apparently not Christian as that seems to come with doctrines set down by Popes and Paul and a string of other people.
  • I am Liberal and damned proud of it. That being said, let loose the slings and arrows of wild conjecture that is mostly determined to define Liberalism as a thing of willful naivety and blind ignorance. I think the arrow slingers mostly hate us liberals because they want to believe that we are wrong to be what we are. Left to them, liberalism is redefined as a thing of evil and willful immorality that nicely fits into their various agendas of supremacy and hatred. Mostly, I ended up feeling the Libtard haters are screaming about that things should stay the same because it works for the few and by golly the few like it that way. If you really want to know what the liberals believe than stop jumping to conclusions and actually look at our desire for equal rights for all, being responsible for everyone, for wanting a peaceful life that does not start with us killing someone else.
  • Also I am a social democrat and no I ain't explaining it, since it doesn't really matter anyway.
So Mike, what is your point?
the answer is simple.
ironically.
stop boxing me.
I am not jean val jean. I am not a prisoner with a number, I am who I want to be, not something that social media, my culture, my sex, my hair color or penis size or IQ demands that I be.
I am just me.
and to put it tritely
that often just scares the hell out of me.

So my point of this blog.
We either categorize ourselves (Jungian Method/Myers Briggs) or we label ourselves or somehow limit ourselves or regulate who we are into easy definable classes. Mostly because we think that it will make us more dateable or employable or likable.
But it doesn't unless you meet or get employed by (etc) the same kind of person.
It's like many video games. There's the main character and a few named characters around him or her and the rest of the world is named after generic terms. i.e. terrorist 1 or Settler or Raider or Person or Date or Thug or - well you should get the picture.
But everyone has their own name (mostly) and that actually makes them fairly unique
unique until someone comes along and lumps them with someone else who might just be similar in some way and then Blonde one talks to Blonde two while Spy One takes a bullet for the only named character on the set, you.
It's safer that way, no risk, no chance of getting your feelings hurt (much)
unless you stop and demand that you are someone and not just a someone else.
and that's a scary thing, to go it alone when it seems like everyone else is going along.
and now you know,
(sic) Paul Harvey.
the rest of the story.
Actually you don't.
Will you chance it?
I am scared to death and I am chancing it.
and that is life according to Mike. 

Friday, February 19, 2016

True Love...according to Mike

DISCLAIMER: I've never been in love. I have loved though.
definition: In Love: To Love someone and be loved back in similar fashion.
Here are some clarifiers:
Love comes in many forms.
There are many definitions of Love.
We all have conceptions and misconceptions of what love is, what we think love should be, what we want it to be, what we think it ends up being. We (and by we, I mean me but also some of you) think we have it all figured out when we are in love, because the experts are the lovers, right up until they are not.
Shakespeare knew this.


Love takes time.

I hate waiting.
BUT this is not actually what this blog is about.
This blog is actually about why I believe in True Love.
Wait, did you just say "True Love."
What was all that stuff up there?
Well, I will tell you.
I define True Love by the very pinnacle of it's expression.


What were you expecting?
If you know me, or have known me, it would be obvious we would end up here. 
Confused?
Get used to it.
But I will explain.
The Princess Bride. 
It ruined my life. It defined it, err I mean it defines it.
that and the teachings of Jesus (the biblical one)
NOOOOOO, YOU HADE TO BRING RELIGION INTO THIS!
Get over it.
Jesus is about love. True Love stems from Jesus.
I mean, unless you are an Atheist, then I strongly suspect that you don't believe in True Love since that seems to be all Atheist spend their time doing- not believing in things (kidding).
If you are Atheist and exceedingly patient and still here, then let me explain.
Belief is a powerful thing. Facts (which are or at least supposed to be proven ideas) and Beliefs are the same thing- come from same source (see the scientific article on the net).
BUT this is not actually what this blog is about.
So what is this blog about Mike?
It's about accepting something that simply is.
For me, there are things that simply are.
I don't just believe in them, practice them, fail them, they are and I know they are.
God, Light, Love.
These three things are.
Things is a bad word, but then there is no other word I have to capture it. I could use ideas but that seems a little immaterial. I could use facts (the Atheist should like that save that only one of those facts would be acceptable to him or it). I will just stick to things (apologies to the others).
So back to my point....shades of Vizzini. 
I accept God and Light and Love. 
My Trinity.
Also, for me, these things are one and the same.
(probably another blog which I probably won't write).
So now I have written almost an entire blog about True Love and still not come to the meat of the matter.
So here is the axis of it all, the apogee.
True Love is.
It is, like love is.
You can Accept it or not. It doesn't change that it happens and that writers and poets and songwriters and singers and lovers will try to quantify, qualify and contain it into one song, poem, movie or declaration and succeed and fail. Love is undefinable with infinite expressions of it.
However, True Love is something more than that.
Just like being in love is different than loving someone.
Sheena Sharma: "You can be in love with a man, and loving him will automatically come with the package, but you don’t have to necessarily be in love with a man in order to love him."
I found her article and it fits in well here. I agree with much of what she says about the importance of being in love.
but I want to talk about True Love.
I read several other sources including ones I would have once written myself defining what it is to truly love someone.
However, the more I consider true love, I am struck by one prevailing principle: True Love never stops, never quits, never ends, crosses beyond death, and never, never gives up.
If you find it with someone, you are not going to buy into the idea that "if you really love him- you have to be willing to let him go."
(Expletive deleted) That!
True Love has to mean not accepting the world's view of love and loss nor the practical, logical acceptance that people fall in and out of love.

Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?
Buttercup: Well... you were dead.
Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.
Buttercup: I will never doubt again.
Westley: There will never be a need.

For me,  I think the peace that I have come to is that True Love is truly rare. It only happens once in a lifetime and being the schmucks that we tend to be, we ignore it.
We either miss the bus or walk away from the "click."
The click is that human response when two people meet and they click like they are two puzzle pieces in a huge jigsaw jumble and if they both allow it, will fit together.
It's not like you won't meet other people and be happy with them. It's not like you cannot be in love with someone else, it is more this is the perfect fit but not the only fit.
I want the click, probably since I have never really met another person I would be willing to drop everything for or cross the globe to find out if it was all for love.
I want the click.
Now back to acceptance. Because I accept God, Light and Love; I also accept that the Three have a plan for me.
I can allow that plan to form my life (I'm trying to accept this like I accept breathing)- or I can let my doubts creep in and say things like "If there is only one person for me than I probably missed her since it hasn't happened yet."
I don't pretend to know God's plan, but I suspect that there is one for all of us. 
You get to choose whether you follow it. 
Accept the click when it happens.
Or just decide you know better and ignore the obvious and go your own way. Many if not most of us do the latter and hence my argument that True Love is truly rare becomes true.
If we could would or even should accept my earlier inference then we should show patience and acceptance that we all have someone in our life we are supposed to be with. 
The soulmate sounds too corny to me. (sorry)
One True Love.
And the Cynics and Haters will have a field day with that.
What if she dies before you meet, as if anyone human has that knowledge. If you accept or believe in things unseen, unproven, that goes beyond your 5 senses, then you should accept that True Love like God and Light can and does exist for all of us.
It just takes patience and the willingness to admit that you don't have it all figured out.
Also, if you are with someone and what I just said annoys you because you think I am wrong and all the decisions you made ended you up with that other person this invalidating my entire argument. Let me ask you this.
Are you sure that you have not just had True Love all this time and ignored it?
This is not an argument.
This is me saying, I accept that the Universe has meaning
and by that I mean I accept that God has a plan for me.
I accept that Light is more than what I feel on my skin, the brightness in the darkness, the scientific levels of protons and photons, the colors that the light translates into my brain, the way light falls across my lover's hair, the shadows it casts when it intersects with other objects, the way it bends around things if not just going through them, I accept there is more to light than I will ever know as I accept that there is more to love than I will ever understand.
I may die alone questioning how I managed to miss my significant other, but that is what is then not what is now where it hasn't happened yet.


This is the way I process life.
I will wait.
I will listen.
I will love.
One day, I might get it right.
Now for the rest:
Love is like this.



 It's just to clarify a point.




and

and finally


In the End, I return to my favorite film and let it redefine True Love all over again.
and that is True Love...according to Mike.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

"life is what happens when you are making other plans" blogs in review

So, at the end of January instead of the end of December; I am going to summarize my year of 2015- the year when everything changed. Also I am using Ross Marquand as my segues. 
So what happened to Mike in 2015?
Here is a quick summary in order of what comes to mind but not in any sense of order otherwise ( I am a man- get over it)

  1. I went home: I had not planned on going. My mother hatched this mad scheme and right up to December I was - sure go back to South Africa, I am moving to Greensboro to make a new life. Then it occurred to me that this was an opportunity not to be missed so I put my plan to move to Greensboro on hold and went home. I have written about it elsewhere but let me say this, I found myself and another me that I had no idea that I was until I stood on a road in the Cape and realized that for the first time in my life- I knew what restlessness was- not only that, but also I have been restless all my life, just not knowing what it was.
  2. I did not move to Greensboro. I will not blame the likely suspects (the plan had been headed south almost as soon as I started making it. Foolish me just could not see all the evidence until I stood on that road in the Cape a million miles from where I thought I would be.
  3. I renegotiated my contract with the church and changed my job into something wholly new, something that allow me to travel in the future which leads me to the next resolution
  4. To travel, to understand the restlessness that fills my soul, the decision to take that restlessness and see the world (my plan to do this is not going well but at least it is going). 
and then...

  1. To start to realize my writing, to change how and why I wrote and where. to take a long look at blogging and fiction, to find out that meetups and hope for response was mostly futile and that the only one I could rely on was still me. To try to expand the website only to realize (yet again) that websites are a thing of the past- seriously no one roams the web anymore- mostly they stick to the social sites and little else outside of social apps.
  2. To understand that while I have loved women, that I have never been and yet to find out what it is like to be in love with a woman (homosexuality is out and pet-love is overrated at worst - underrated at best...unless you have treats). To know that I would want to be in love more than a lot of things- just not anything (need focus and sanity more than love).
  3. I learned that I am one person with many layers (like the proverbial onion analogy from Shrek) that despite remembering parts of a blocked past and a hurt child that I am one persona not tow or more. That I am inherently good and kind and compassionate but also sly, sardonic and a wiseass/smartass but not a jerk.
  4. I learned yet again that social dating sites are mostly just a rip off and that finding the one I will love will not be there. 
  5. That I can daydream again. This is huge for me, I lost the ability to coherently daydream several years ago and just figured that it was a part of growing older/up/mature. I did not realize how integral it was to my sense of well being and creativity.  That in the end it would determine if I could turn to Patreon to go to the next phase of my overall plan (no, it's my plan so I won't be divulging it).
and then. 

  • I bought a 2013 Town & Country Van and sold my soul to start paying the MAN for it (and by MAN I mean MOM)
  • I spent more time with my father, got to know my cousin Sam better (we hadn't really ever talked much) traveled a lot of places between Luttrell and DC. Found out how much I need the road and distance from Luttrell for my own sense of sanity. Listened to several awesome audiobooks (thanks audible).
  • I learned to value my own opinion and fear getting my own persona overridden by others (which happens a lot...i.e. the move to Greensboro, sorry bro). I learned a lot about how easy it is for me to get suckered by other peoples belief structures, POVS and likes and dislikes. How I much steel myself on my own sense of empathy if I am to remain true to my self and my own plans (sorry mom). 
  • I also learned that I am awfully close to getting stuck in a lifestyle I don't want or need but still feel obligated to live (sorry Mike- keep trying dude). 
  • I did not finish my last book project for my mother (got another week or two though)
and then.




Now that was pretty much it. 
save for:

  • Warcraft: what is it good for? Pretty much nuthin save a money hole of basic boredom until the next expansion comes out...jeez "naval battles" what was I thinking?
  • Fallout 4: Sim City in the Wasteland....yeah baby! Also I am in love with Piper. There I said it. 
  • Star Wars. Sorry EU but I like Star Wars again. There I said it.
  • Obama: Still my favorite president. let shots be fired and ignored.
  • Health Insurance: Gosh it's good to be insured save for monthly premiums, of course- and deductibles. 
  • Music: Walk off the Earth and Walking the Moon and non- main stream music and youtube over spotify and pandora.
  • Satellite Radio - awesome until you spend a weekend listening to it and realize they are playing the same programs over and over again.
  • X-Box One... Destiny sucks (especially networking), Not using it much anymore. Glad I didn't buy the PS4 (yet). Mostly underwhelmed by it.
  • The PC is still king (for me)
  • and now my moments of zen.

and that was 2015 according to Mike.....well the highlights really.

Friday, January 1, 2016

The Year in Awesome....just got to share these things when they come up

And we are back with the recaps of all the good things in life since we mostly see or experience the bad everyday.
Let us all stop and see that life can be awesome and amazing without the constant need for chaos and strife. Let the awesome otherness begin:


here's a list of all that awesomeness:
The playlist of 506 videos used for BOW8: http://bit.ly/1TTpD04

and the replay of the very brief youtube stars














and that was the year 2015 (the good stuff anyways) according to mike.


Wednesday, December 9, 2015

This Week in Awesome #4

The Eye
Follow the Link see the Eye


Loteria TVC from Milford Creative Studio on Vimeo.
a wonderful short film in any language since no language is needed.


LARPS is a great web series with an engaging story that is rich with plot and characters and should become one of those classics like Dr. Horrible's Sing-along-blog




I love deadpool and I like PSY and this is just golden humor and awesome stuff all the way around


I like Ed and this is just so over the top I had to share it.

A note, the week in awesome is running more like a wednesday to tuesday week, but I will get my act together eventually. 

Friday, December 4, 2015

week in awesome but not a lot to say #3




Major mashup to get this party started.


It's Psy and rather weird in a Korean pop way



that pretty much says it all.

and on the note of wowsers. here's some epic cosplay

AO1.jpgao2.jpgao5.jpgao15.jpg
www.facebook.com/AnnaOrmeli/




and then this happened at Volvo...


and Adele released her new single and then I found this cover (hint- you might want to lower your volume)


space-pictures-that-will-actually-make-you-think


you just have to go to this webpage to appreciate how awesome this actually is.






and that's awesome according to Mike.