Sometimes we should avoid identifying to closely with Movie characters

I watched THE HEART IS A  LONELY HUNTER this week and Alan Arkin's performance has really stuck with me.

There is this  scene following the Singer learning of the Death of  his friend Spiros. Singer  is walking down a darkened street.  He is upset. As he walks along he holds his arms straight down, you can see that he is signing  (sign language)  to  himself frantically, like man who is drowning in  his despair as his world comes crashing down on him. Arkin portrays this so poignantly as the rush of sadness for this man trapped now forever in the loneliness that surrounds him. The  moment was it seeing  him pleading for  some relief- if I thought My friend Steven could  take  this depressing movie  I would have  him translate what Singer is  saying at that  moment. I would like  to know but then I wouldn't.
It hits too close to home.
I am  Singer (at least  as he is portrayed  here) or rather there are times  that I feel this way. It is as if everyone can see me but  no one is  listening to what  I am  saying.
I can be in a conversation with someone and they will start talking about themselves or something else as if I had not spoken or will latch  onto something that is not relevant to  what I am saying.
It probably doesn't actually happen but for me  at that moment it does.

This is not a moment where you rise up determined to fight (it's not Tara) I am not Scarlet O'Haring it a  rising up with my fist in the  air and screaming "Tomorrow is another day!"
or something  like that.
This is a moment or surrender to despair or flee. This is a moment where my first instinct is to set every ablaze and ride out into the  West like a cowboy leaving his past in  the dust.

Sometimes we need to  leave  a space between us and the movies we watch. Sometimes people are listening even when we are sure they  aren't.

What  is this about?

Sometimes you find yourself looking in the  mirror and this stranger looks back at  you and  you wonder that maybe you going to find out that for the  last 5 years you  been in the alley talking to your mirror self asking him: 

"I want you to  hit me as hard as you  can."

Fight club moment

Instead, maybe you find yourself in a chair with a gun under your chin and in the minute before you pull the trigger you  wonder if you took your antidepressant that morning.

You can't remember.

This is what depression is  like.

This is what my life can be  like, sometimes.

One Way to look at Depression

another definition

And THAT has been life according to Mike