Changes

thanks to the mess that Google has become I will soon lose my domain www.lifeaccordingtomike.com due to Google being Hydra.

Reference image

 So in a nutshell when I got this url domain name Google Domains did not exist and Google basically had e-nom do the registration but not actually make me a e-nom account.
Then my bank canceled my debit card with which I was paying for the domain name and when I went to fix the problem. I had no username or password because surprise surprise Google had closed done this domain relationship with e-nom for the most part AND now it was part of the infamous Google Apps which is no longer in existence although Google Apps for Work is and if I would upgrade my account (and pay this arm of Hydra some more money) then they would happily sort this out....except they can't because of Google Enterprise and the mess just keeps growing arms.

 So what does this mean?
Lifeaccordingtomike.com will continue until april 13 or so and then expire and be in hock for 60 days (might even be auctioned off) and while I plan to try to get it back I will be registering a new domain in the meantime.
lifeaccordingtomike.us will be the replacement domain as soon as I get it registered and changed over.
and that is life according to mike.

Have you had a similar experience?

A Friend of Mine posted a link to this on Facebook: To Fall in Love with Anyone Do This.

Today on Facebook a friend of mine (who is married with kids) posted this article/link:
To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This.
(NYT article post)
I read through it quickly then reread it (I am a natural doubter having never actually or at least rationally been in love or at very least reciprocal love) I have now read and reread it several times.
Even as a permanent skeptic I have an achilles heel called hope.
So as part of an experiment I am going to post the 36 questions and answer them here.
I know it's one sided and that it is unlikely that anyone will do them with me- but maybe someone someday will and wonder what it would have been like to stand opposite me and gaze into my eyes... or not. But there is always hope.

There is an "app" on the nyt site @ nytimes.com/36q that will redirect your phone to it and you can do the app via browser with your desired partner. Takes about 50 minutes, fairly idiot proof.

As OKGO says "Here We go again"

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
Unliving (inside joke) Jesus. I hear he was great a parties also free wine and forgiveness.
Living: Neil Gaiman. He's my favorite person and very interesting. 

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
Moderately famous, and by that- famous for something I actually did such as being the awesome author of a great novel, never mind being a famous blogger with a quirky smile

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
Always, if I am not careful I will have the entire conversation before starting it and finding out that I have forgotten or don't need all that rehearsing anyway

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
No depression. None, nada, also no sadness and a general sense of giddiness. No physical aches and pains be nice to. Sunlight, a long talk with a friend and no guilt over what I ate or failed to accomplish that day

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
Yesterday, pretty much sing to myself all the time. Yesterday, although they didn't take it that well.

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
The Body, I have seen those 90 year olds and their minds are fine but gawd the bodies aren't -ask the 90 year olds, you'll get the same answer. besides my 30 year old mind wasn't much to talk about.

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
Not really. I actually have no intention of having premonitions since I had a cousin who had a fear of dying in a car accident so much that he stopped driving and took a taxi and you ca guess how he died....

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
Since I don't have a partner or even a volunteer, I will express 3 things I would like to have in common. 
1. the need to be touched. I don't get touched much by anyone, for me there is nothing more intimate nor personal nor lovely then being touched by someone.
2. The ability and probability to find humor in everything. Even at my worst I find I would rather laugh then cry.
3. belief in love however unlikely is more than just an illusion or a lie we tell ourselves in order to not feel utterly alone. 
There is a lot more but when faced with such basic needs if I found someone who was as into scifi fantasy/reading/language/writing/music/geekdom and the like but did not have the other things in common then it would just be a cosmic joke on me. I would rather be in love with a person who had no interests in common with me but I could touch/laugh/love without pause or question than a unresponsive rock.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
The list would be long.
but.
Mostly that I am smart, creative, kind, vulnerable and funny.
and that I can be more than I am now.

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
That my parent's had settled in a small town with a solid community and I could have grown up with kids near me that were my own age and shared my interests. That appearance/decorum was less important than compassion and forgiveness. That to appear human was better than how I dress or stood. Basically my parents did their best and I am grateful for most of it, but they weren't as good as they would have liked or as I would have liked. Very few people are that fortunate.

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
4 minutes wouldn't cover it. but here is the short short short version.
I am a South African White American who has been around the world once, lived in a few places, seen a lot of the world, survived hell and worse, been pretty much alone through the entirety of it all and inherited a lot of things from my parents I would have rather skipped instead. I have not lived much as an adult since fear and depression took over my life through my 20's and 30's. But I am better now. Also I am like an onion Donkey.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
The ability to fly. Okay I just assumed it was a superpower. able to play the guitar like a pro. words and music man.

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
Depends on the day.
Somedays, I would like to know what happened to me that I have a mental block from remembering. Other days I hope I never remember it. 
Somedays, I would like to know if I ever will fall in love, but really I am afraid that I won't and then I would rather know- it's all about that hope.
If the Crystal Ball could tell me who i should find to fall in love with I suppose that would be both exciting and terrifying. Also if there really is a God and what is She up to. or where in the heck Holloway's key really is , I keep looking but I still can't find it and I will never beat that game.

14. Is there something that you've dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
Finishing my novel. Writer's block, too many excuses and distractions.
Also kissing a woman. I am a scaredy cat and lose my nerve way to often.

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
I hope I haven't made it yet. otherwise, realizing that I am a writer was pretty great. I did get a Master's Degree.

16. What do you value most in a friendship?
Trust. I want to trust my friends implicitly. 

17. What is your most treasured memory?
The first time I kissed Olyvya or Kim or Sophia "Boo"
meeting Larry Elmore or Neil Gaiman and having a normal discussion with them as if we were equals.
Also the day I met Felicia Day at Blizzcon and feeling connected with her for a few precious minutes.

18. What is your most terrible memory?
There are too many. Being abused by people I trusted and loved. Being bullied, hated and or feared.
I just can't go there, it's a very dark place.

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
I guess I would go find someone (a woman) and kiss her and just maybe have sex. I would like to know what that actually feels like. I have fooled around and that was great but I am... still inexperienced. 45 years 11 months and counting. 
If you have to ask why then you obviously have forgotten.
fuck the bucket list, I would trade my entire life most days for just a five minute kiss. 
and that would/will change the way I am living, for the record.
if I survive the kiss and sex, then I think skydiving would be next.

20. What does friendship mean to you?
Everything, I want my friendships to last, be based on mutual trust and understanding. It's doesn't always happen, but the one thing I hate to do is let down someone I call my friend. 

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
Sadly not much. This happens when the only person around you is your mother. I love her and I feel affection for her BUT she is my mother not my lover and at best we are friends. I love my cat and feel affection for him. If you are my friend, I hope they feel both from me.

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
Again, not having a someone I cannot say save to say these a five characteristics- I would like in my partner should she apparate at some point.
1. innate happiness. being happy in her own skin
2. kindness
3. loves animals (well not stink bugs )
4. loves to be loved
5. smiles a lot. maybe too much. 

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
Sadly we were not that close or warm. I had a better childhood because I got to go and see things others did not, I got exposed to a lot of good things like art, music, theater and nature. BUT. my home life was not stable or safe after I turned 5. So I had a good childhood but not necessarily a happy one.

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
It's better than it was and healthier than it's ever been. I stayed with her during and after the divorce. it became a matter of me and her in everything and while it helped me through college, it was a little too intimate and close for my well being. Now there is some distance and space, soon there will be more and I think I will be better for it. I hope, she will be better for it too.

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling ... “
Verbatim.
We are probably both scared at how this might play out
We are both unlikely to be happy to go home alone.
We are both hoping that somehow someway it can/will be different this time.

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “
I wish I had someone with whom I could share everything with or at least as much as she will be comfortable sharing with.

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
I am a empath and if we are not both aware and careful of that I will take on and even reflect your own emotions back at you instead of just expressing my own.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
I like the way I think you will bite your lower lip when you feel shy, happy or nervous.
I like the way you open a new book as if the contents are ready to burst out.
I like the way you look at me when you think I won't notice or see
I like the way you take time to rehearse what you are going to say on the phone before calling me.
I can't honestly say that I would say all this to a stranger. But I like the way you keep nodding as if you agree with everything you just read.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
There are so many.
It really depends on how embarrassed. I guess the worst I remember was getting an erection in science class and then having two girls I liked notice and point it out. Now that I think of it that led to some seriously bad bullying and isolation.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
It's been a long time (at least a year) I usually flee as soon as I suspect it's about to happen. 
by myself, a couple of weeks ago, when you are me, it happens fairly regularly, mostly when writing blogs or poetry although I did tear up quite a bit during Big Hero 6- I got a lot of Pain.

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
That you are still reading this. Also that dimple in your chin.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
It's all about time and place and sensitivity. There's a time and place for everything. That being said I never laugh about abuse or abject cruelty.

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
Well, I guess I won't get to tell Felicia Day thanks for treating me like a normal person and I won't get to tell Nathan Fillion that he is without a doubt my favorite actor of all time, or Jake, I am the one who not only took the last beer but I only drank half of it before pouring it out in your rose bush. Sorry man. Life is full of regrets and things better left unsaid. The one thing I will regret is that I will never get a chance to do the silly walk around your house nor tell you how much I would have loved you if you had only loved me back in the first place.
hey you asked. 

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
The Beach Towel - you know the one with The hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy on it?
since my loved ones include my xbox and pc, I think that would cover it.
how is that not funny?

It's not like I am going to lug out the family photo album or that ugly couch your mother gave us.
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
Tori, she was so young and pretty. Everybody dies, I am disturbed by all of them. Some of the people in my family have been dying for years others might as well be dead now. 

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
I can't dance. What dya think?
and there you have it.
It would be really cool if you commented on this.
or told me you had fallen in love with me and it was time to meet on a bridge and spend 4 minutes staring into one another's eyes.
I feel kind of silly and foolish
but hey that's Life according to mike.

On many things but mainly where do I go now?

I have actually been writing this blog a lot, but I keep losing focus and the blog in question ends up in my drafts folder until I eventually delete it.
The main reason most of what I started to write were reactionary posts like crooked domain name servers and their nefarious practice of penalizing people for $100 for not renewing their domain names in a given window or why there aren't female superhero movies worth a damn while the male centered superhero movies continue.
I thought I felt strong enough to write about them but I don't.
I do want a Wonder Woman movie that doesn't depend on Batman, Superman or Steve Trevor to make it valid. I want a superwoman movie or a Black widow movie or a movie about a superhero who doesn't boil down to her superhero prowess to be centralized on some sexual prowess, yes, I am talking to you Black Scorpion, Witchblade, Catwoman (the list goes on and on)
The Huntress (comic books - not Arrow) appealed to me more in that light- especially the Huntress who debuted in the mid 90's Batman and then in Robin before she got her own brief solo series. She was cool and mature and motivated by more than some misplaced need for revenge on her daddy or being raped (not that isn't legitimate motives but being a superhero/vigilante should be more than just revenge (Batman for instance, carries better than Punisher)
I am trying to read stuff about strong female characters who go beyond the traditional roles and tropes and become something more than the expectations of them. I want a Belle who doesn't have to be beautiful or dependent on a Beast for her to have a fairytale. Same way, I want my beast to be more than just an dumb, ingorant fool who makes a few bad decisions and ends up paying for them at the cost of a simple thing like love. I want my beast to be more than just a vampire.
Think about that and you might understand how Legacy of Thorns is changing the way I read and write.
I am not out to make another Twilight or 50 Shades of OMG fanfiction but rather a story of pain and disillusionment, loss and retribution based on something more than a 1-2 hundred yearold Beast (or vampire) who ends up seducing a young impressionable Belle into falling in love with him and then changing her personality to accept what makes him monstrous.
I can see why Disney rejected the traditional fairytale mold because it's just freaking creepy.
Older men and younger women can have realistic relationships but not a vampire/beast who is at least 100 years her senior taking on the dominant role in her life while this not mature often innocent/abused woman falls madly in love with a rape fantasy and well you can pretty much see why I hat Twilight and it's ilk, but it's not just them, it's the whole idea that keeps getting rammed down our throats from fairytales to fiction to movies to even videogames.
Anyway Io go on.
So where do i go now.
I need to change my life even as I change how I am writing the Legacy of Thorns and make it my own instead of yet another rehash of Beauty and the Beast.
I need to redefine my job, the way I make money, where and how I live, who or what I make a relationship with.
What I believe in. Because I got to tell you, i don't just believe in what I would have once I swore to be true no matter what. Doubt didn't take my belief in God (whomever he/she/it/? is) but rather has forced me to recognize my own willful ignorance and willingness to ignore the questions that drive me to seek truth and knowledge in order to belong somewhere and have people love me for it.

So where am I going?

I don't know, but I can't stay where I am/was anymore..

and that is life according to Mike.

I still need my heroes

Let me start by saying that it really bothers me that I don't have many women heroes.
What I mean to say is my mother was my first female hero (I don't have a video to show you)
I have a niece who I would call a hero, but I don't want to embarrass her more than she will be if she ends up reading this.

I will start with Catherine Asaro. She's multi talented and writes a great Sci Fi Book.

What makes her my hero is her champion the more realistic side of her genre and still being able to sing a good song and argue theoretical physics like imaginary numbers and be right about all of it without the need to teabag her opponents. Grace under fire.

Ursula K. le Guin (might have her name wrong) who is still the most awesome writer in my experience because she gave me Ged and the Earthsea which is one of the very few books that have remained my favorite through out my entire life. She is and will always be my hero.

I have actually met this hero, back when he was just some guy writing Sandman and before I would hold him up as someone I wanted to be more like for his views on life and fiction and all the things and imaginings and outlook that would shape me as a writer. He is both the humor and amazing imagination that I find loving in my own fictions.

Bill Nye didn't start out as my favorite Science guy but after he retired as the Science Guy, I found that I really had liked him and science and then when he resurfaced under the Planetary Society and endorsed my brother- he became forever elevated as the voice of reasonable reason in this wild and unscientific world.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson is by far the coolest smart guy in the universe and I like that I agree with him on most things about science and fiction and doing a good job at whatever he sets his mind and effort too. I love that he never forgets what is really important to him (astronomy) and that Space Zombie Aliens could happen.

And Carl Sagan who would transform the small universe of my mind into the limitless hope and ambition that would change how I wrote about the universe and introduce the idea that Hard Science should always be the first choice over space fantasy unless you need to breathe in space to tell the story and then by golly go beyond our limited knowledge of physics to a galaxy far away enough to make it sound reasonable. In the meantime, I live in his dreams of hope for this cosmos and his word guide me as I ride this planet through the stars.

Is it any wonder that my heroes are almost always comedians or writers or scientists or all three.

Jon Stewart is my hero, not only is he the quintessential wit but also he is the hero in the face of this insanity that fills our media and minds with unnamed fears and unrealized lies. I need my voice in the darkness, I need my sense of irony in the sea of hypocrisy where people who are needlessly self important blather and blunder on with their own egos that they have lost the ability to stop and see how stupid and mortal they truly are.  

John Oliver is just over the top and down to earth hilarious in his pursuit of finding reason or at least reasonability in the face of such madness as we find not only in this country but also the rest of the world. Where do I find my news? Where do i look for honesty and the truth, from the mouths of men all too often dismissed as comedians and fools.

Which brings me to Stephen Colbert. The Fool of Fools who was actually anything but.

He is the Deadpool of the media world, if you don't understand that look up breaking the fourth wall and speaking the truth with a lie. He was/is the super geek that I can turn to in order to question authority and mock the rich and self important.

and that's the word.

I still need my heroes.
I want to have people I can quote as often as Shakespeare and Pope and still be amazed by most of what they do and write and say. Heroes who are true to themselves and don't waffle in the face of fear and the world. So I leave you know with Neil and Amanda (also a hero) makin' whoopie.
and that is Heroism according to Mike

Snow and Ice and Flu and Life without You, Blue.

So I had the flu. I haven't had the flu in such a long time that I am almost sure I had a dog named Blue when I last had the Flu....
No, this is not the poetry blog.

Insert a song about a dog named blue

So it snowed, well actually it rained ice. Yes, it rained ice.
It does that kind of thing around here in East Tennessee.
I am serious- well no I am never serious but it still rained ice.
then it kind of snowed basically in order to make the ice look like snow.
Oh unscrupulous ice! Like Ice in snow's clothing sneaking in to kill your kid's best friend in a seemingly legit snowball fight!

Insert video about a dog named blue.

anyway being sick sucks almost as being cold and sick and blue.

I often stop and wonder what life would have been like if you had stuck around.
I mean, I have to be honest. I know my humor can be trying and playing that song over and over again probably wore you down and the door to wherever was the only place for you to flee Jesse.

no wait, that was a song...
One the benefits of being alone, is that no one is around to see how crazy you have become.
so there you have it.
I still have the flu or something like it
There is ice with deceptive snow on it.
OH unscrupulous Snow!
I never actually had a dog named blue
I probably never really had you, either.
and that is life according to the crazy man sitting at the corner of the round table blowing the steam off his cold potato....

I would have called this the Weekly Update,but...

I am a man of constant humor and never can one say that I pass up the chance to make a joke at any expense, especially at my own expense.
I am like Robin Williams, determined to laugh when all I really feel like doing is crying for myself and the world at large.
Humor might be the best medication but for the tragic wit like myself it is my whiskey and rye.
If I can't laugh then there is not much point to getting out of bed in the morning.
If you saw me, however, you'd never think I ever laughed at all or anything.
I ain't exactly a joyful being.

Probably need to get laid.

Not surprisingly, more and more people who know me, tend to let that one slip recently.

Because the truth of life is, if you want to look happy and glow, have sex.
Frankly since I haven't ever had successful sex, i will just have to take the fuckers word for it.
(it was necessary for the joke- I am going to blame Father Rasnick for that one, first joke he ever told me involved a italian bricklayer and a reputation, ruined my innocent soul, it did)

But I digress.

I need to write more so as part of my resolutions I am going to attempt a weekly blog that is just a general ramble of things. If something comes up, I will make a special blog for that at the appropriate point.


Since it is music that makes the world go around, here is one of my all time favorite songs to start us of in a very different way:

So, Nathan and his sister Eva are recent discoveries. They aren't the best unless you count effort as part of it. I am enjoying their music right now.

So what else is new or old or otherwise?
I can't tell you, it's confidential or I have no confidence I can tell you.

There's yet another Fantastic Four movie that will explain for the the fourth time why they are fantastic. Yes, 4 times. Each time has had it's own version of suck..
Let us count the ways.
1) 1978. TV The torch was kicked in favor of a robot named herbie....fail, fail, fail. fail.
2) 1994  Roger Corman's jewel of a horribly under budget film disaster that everyone (including IMDB) has apparently agreed to ignore.
3) 2005 I had hopes for this one, but the folks at 20th century fox wanted a more modern retelling and apparently had never actually read the comic book. So, yes, another epic disaster wherein Doctor Doom, perhaps the most fearsome of all Marvel villians was reduced to a slimy, conniving asshole. Jessica Alba was hot although her powers were lamely presented and the most memorable things was her showing up naked (well mostly naked) several times. (the rise of the silver surfer was infinitely worse but it's a sequel and I am skipping it)
4) 2015 Time for  a much needed reboot they tell me, and it looks cool but they have already thown the comic book plot out the window and changed the nature (and race) of several of the characters in the standard vainglorious attempt at wider appeal. So I am predicting that it will be another fail since, apparently, no one will trust that a comic book plot is good enough for a movie.

Well, look at the time. Commercial Break!
after we come back, I will attempt to explain the Republican primaries while humming the star spangled rapsong and riding a mule backwards.
or you can take it from me that this is life according to Mike.

Well, I should have seen that one coming.

So this week, my fanpage on Facebook hit 10,000 likes with a daily post reach of 90% (roughly 9035 people interacting with the page). I am one of the few page admins, I know, who pay a lot of specific attention to the page analytics and try to keep in step with what that data suggests about the fans of my page.

The Deadpool Fool

Does this give me any credibility?

Depends on who you ask.

Mostly people are impressed until they find out what or rather who Deadpool is.

Then it's like "why would you even be associated with that?"

Because I hate football.

and baseball

and broccoli.

Broccoli? But Mike it has protein!

Sure it does, but it gives me gas.

Oh.

I mean I Fart all-

I really don't want to know, thanks.

Well you asked...

I was just saying why would you use Deadpool Fool as proof that you know how to use Facebook better than the game playing housewives and puppy posting cat lovers that spend their entire days trolling around for the cute?

I think you just answered you're own question, there, Frank.

Can I turn this formula to my blogs for instance?

I don't know, I haven't tried it yet.

having to tag blogs and make friends with other bloggers is a bit harder since finding bloggers like me has really happened yet.

maybe tomorrow.

In the meantime, it would be nice for someone to come by and recognize that I got my *&%$! together and say I think you get it Mike.

Also can you turn my knitting fan page into a page that the kids will love?

uhm. look at the time!

and that's life according to Mike