Sunday, June 28, 2015

On living in the Land of the Free that also used to be the home of the Brave

So here we are on the Sunday the Episcopal church celebrates the 4th of July. Together we celebrate our freedoms- the ones so often taken for granted, so often disregarded when it comes down to our individual safety and the ones so often forgotten when they belong to someone or something that is not what we see as being American.
The Fanfare of the Common Man by Aaron Copeland is a piece of music written in 1942 inspired in part by a speech by then Vice President Henry A. Wallace proclaim the dawning of the "Century of the common man" and as a calling to the people of the USA as we entered into WWII. A war that was all about freedom from tyranny and oppression. (this may be debated, but I am going with this idea).
This past week, we Americans have seen an end to marriage inequality and a freedom granted to a different group of citizens who were in so many ways ignored and pushed out of sharing in the "Century of the Common Man." Now homosexuals or gays or LBGT can marry without someone denying them this basic human right.  We saw that a transgender could be accepted by most people as being a normal human being and probably as her chosen sex.
This past week we have seen a new dawning of what might be the beginning of racial equality in this country as the slow however heartfelt rejection of a symbol (regardless of counter argument) of racism and hate is being removed from place of public display. It is just a piece of cloth but it is still a flag that carries much negative implications and themes (many of which stem from modern misrepresentations of it original purpose). The confederate "Battle" flag is going out of the public eye. I doubt that the products that also carry the flag will last much longer than it. It had a good run. The American thing to do here, is to recognize it's significance and honor its removal without assigning the negativity that is being assigned to it. We should let it retire, but it has not gone that well, as the war between those that would keep it and those who would destroy it rages on. The flag has come down, at least not to be burned but only because a few have some insight to what would happen if it went that far. We are, sadly, not acting like the Americans, I wanted us to be, but we are acting and progress is being made in finding a new world that might actually escape this ages long hate that plagues our sense of collective freedom.
We have seen that a good plan can survive the seemingly endless rampage and assault of those against it, despite the evidence that it will make life better for many, many Americans. I speak of the Affordable Care Act or Obamacare (ironically should have been called Romneycare but that's another story). The media and the far right cannot seem to remember that there are many of their own supporters who would benefit from having it, if only they would give them a chance to believe it will, instead of the constant barrage of propaganda that is spewed out that over it.

Which leaves us with the end of my original sentence. We are not living in the home of the Brave. It might have been once, it may have just been a hope or a dream that our forefathers or some composer like Copeland had about a better version of US. We are left in the terrible wake of yet another shooting in which the lines of FEAR reign supreme over this country. We should all be mourning the loss of these good people who live and died in the service of God. We should all be for stopping and asking what could have stopped this from happening?
My answers are thus:
1) We, as Americans, need to end the cycle of Fear. We could if we only would stop the media from capitalizing of every incident while giving it their own individual twist. We should stop giving the white supremacists any attention in the media.
2) We should remember that while this incident is a race crime against Blacks, it is also a hate/fear crime against anyone who does not fit into the world view of a select group of extremists who are only to willing to kill for what they believe in. I am not black but I am human and as a human and as an American, I know, I feel that this is more than just another massacre of black people, that this is going to become so much more that what we have ever anticipated as a fight for freedom.
3) This is NOT about the Second Amendment to the Constitution which has nothing to do with what was done (however it did make it easier for this white man to do it). This is not about the right to bear arms or as the modern interpretation goes guns (pistols mostly), it is not even about who should or should not have access to them (especially since it's basically open access anyway). This is not about the Government taking your guns away (even though the Weapon Industry will have another few hundred sales - if not thousands- because they will say it really is). This is not even about violence, it was violent, it was evil incarnate, it is about fear. Fear motivated this man as it motivates most (if not all) hate groups. yep, ironically hatred and violence needs that fear to feed it, impower it, inform it, forgive it, sustain it, etc.
4) This is about being responsible Americans who should know better. We could try to start being the Americans we have always claimed we are. You know the ones, the responsible, humans who look out for their neighbors, are hospitable to all men, that reach out a helping hand to anyone without judgement because most of our ancestors were from almost identical situations, oppression, walks of life as those who come to our shores now,
5) That Christians should stop and remember what it is to say and be and practice Christianity (as convoluted as it has become in some places) We do not forget the poor or grow impatient with them, we remember the downtrodden because Jesus remembered them, we forgive the sinners because we are forgiven, we love one another regardless of race, wealth (or lack thereof), sex, gender preference or pretty much anything else because we are all Children of God.
6) if you want to keep on believing that we are the best country on the planet Earth, we actually have to be the best country and that doesn't mean sports, or more nukes or more guns or more money. It means realizing that civilized people should practice what is in our declaration of independence, our constitution and ALL of our amendments not just some.

I am reminded at times like this of a poem by Rudyard Kipling.

If.
If you can keep your head when all about you
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
    But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
    And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
    If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
(insert woman-daughter/human-child).

And that is Episcopal Independence Day according to Mike.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

What to do when you can't win

So, here I am, at the short end of another epic family fail where what seemed like a joke to me was taken as intimidation, bullying, and being judgemental on my part to them.
In short, another no win situation carefully engineered by yours truly.
So what can you do when you have screwed the pooch.

 Well, this is definitely a viable option, but we are supposed be progressive about this and come up with a better solution. 
Or this, although I tend to feel like this when I realize how deep the hole is that I have just dug. So there you have it, Mike with a shovel at the bottom of the hole.
Well, since I lost you back at or, you might have to put out of the fire where your monitor burst into flame (figuratively) because I am trying to be wise and funny and probably not
really succeeding since as you might remember I am down at the bottom of the hole that I just dug for myself.


 But I digress, anyway, I am sorry that I cannot be this one person everyone wants me to be. I mean, I want to be this loving, considerate person, but as much as I realize that I am two people, I am or rather have to one person, kind of the ying and the yang needs to be one concept, kind of two halves are just two halves incomplete or allow them to become one person even if it means I will probably be that brother that will still be at the bottom of the hole.
 

Shakespeare via Plutonius instructs his son to be a better man, he tells him among other things, "and this above all things, to your own self be true."

 My response is: "Well that's all well and good and fine if you pops is going to kick it in the next act before your sister gets driven mad by the guy whom she thought she was in love with- who also killed your dear old dad."
But I digress.
Can I be my one self?
Not as long as I look to other people to define me.


 So how do I become the one I true am?
Probably, I quit using Facebook. 
I stop talking to people who upset and judge me.
except that pretty much covers my entire family
save for one or two people I somehow seem to get along with regardless of how bad I have been or seem to be.



 It's good to have people at your back, right now I have 2 nieces who love me regardless of how lousy or conflicted I am being or have been.
What should you do when you can't win?
Remember who you know (if you are lucky) or think (at least) you are, who you see staring back at you in the mirror.
That person who you both love and hate.
Also, remember that it's not everyone that judges you or tells you that you are this way or that. There are some people, like my nieces Lisa and Karen, who accept that you are what you are without requiring some contract that you are going to change to better suit what other people want you to become.
You are, after all, your own sense of potential, not someone else's - no matter how well intentioned they are.
I can't be that person.
I guess that's what you find while you are holding the shovel at the bottom of the pit you dug while trying to deny who you are/were/want to be while someone else keeps telling you things like:
"Why can't you be that nice person you were the last time you visited?'

I am that person, but I am also that wisecracking smartass that has problems with intimacy and kindness, that is more afraid of himself than anyone really suspects.

So, when you find yourself at the bottom of that slippery slope and you want my advice that it like this:

Be who you think you are or want to be, not who someone else thinks or wants you to be.
You will find that you are alone down in the hole, after all.


Well, at least, I will be there with you with my trusty shovel.






 And that's life according to Mike.