Thoughts on a Sunday Morning

Sunday's are good for musings.
(don't ask where or when I actually wrote this)
I am pretending I am sitting on my father's deck, watching the blue skies and thinking Deep Jack Handyish thoughts.

1. If all men, and women- but mostly men, could stop for one minute, and talk without using body references- we could find a way to fax a pizza or solve internet bandwidth caps.
2. What a world it could be if some people would no longer refer to their own children as sex gods or confuse them with cats.
3. We could have peace on earth, if my mother could keep up with her reading glasses, or my boss, or my father, or that guy at Starbuck's - who still doesn't get that you can't read the menu for espresso by tilting your head back and squinting through them while talking to the ceiling.
4. Chocolate may not be the key to total nuclear disarmament, but semi sweet dark chocolate might take my thumb off the trigger.
5. If I could successfully flirt with a woman I really like; then I could probably ask for an insane raise and get it as soon as the higher ups stop laughing and choking on their Lattes.
6. Love can heal all things, but so can duct tape. If you say no, then (cliche moment) you are STILL not using enough Duct Tape.... also use red duct tape. Nothing says I love you like red duct tape.
7. There are two types of people in the world: Those who keep saying things like this, and those who can actually count.
8. Church Organ music will not actually put you to sleep, you might wish you would become comatose though.
9. Cake, or at least the very idea of Cake,  will fix most problems if you just recognize that cake will fix most problems. For everything else, there is that lame commercial jingle or Chocolate (refer to number 4 for more).
10. If you tell everyone to sing, and for some reason they do, it will probably suck or sound really, really good.
11. People without iphones are only as unfortunate as people with iphones and no imacs. People without droids are just unfortunate storm troopers. People without iphones or droids should not make a scene and thus avoid being embarrassed while flipping their antique phones.
12. People who take Facebook Quizzes are blissfully unaware that sharing their privacy on Facebook with the world is paying someone else to come up with more quizzes to keep sharing their private info. It's a win- win- you gotta be kidding me win scenario.
13. If thirteen is an unlucky number, I need to not trust Dwarves, blame RR Martin (for everything) or blame it on that guy on Youtube.

and that is Life (and utter ridiculousness) according to Mike.