I am mostly going to share videos and other's blogs here, since they speak such volumes about what is turning out to be a epidemic. But first I am going to post a MEME that a school teacher posted on Facebook a week or two ago that really bothers me.
the comments made on this post basically said, children should stand up for themselves and fight back. That you can stop being a victim by learning to cope with your situation and deal with the abuse because, and I love this, we cannot end bullying. It's just the way things are.
Needless to say, I kind of lost it. I posted a couple of replies which were met with derision and apathy by the poster's friends. Then it hit me, you cannot reason with stones anymore than you can stop a river with only your hands. Maybe there is no stopping bullying and maybe we should learn to live with the aggression.... like hell, I will not quit. I have to try, and so does anyone who loves their children enough to stop for 5 seconds and consider what this says.
The only way to fight fire is with fire.
or
overcome violence by becoming violent.
I was upset and I removed my replies and even blocked someone who came across like the perfect asinine bully I pretty much despised since my youth.
What is more we cannot all be bullies or fighter or "survivors."
We aren't all made that way and what I lost as a child and a man because I fought back (and mostly lost) cannot be replaced. As I have said before and will say again, even at 46, there is still a part of me that is the crying child who does not understand why everyone hated him and so many tried to hurt him. I still hear his voice in my head.
I was ready to just leave all this behind me, that I had said enough, but then Linda Palmer (musician and a fine human being) reminded me of why we cannot stop resisting this travesty, why we need to find a better way to live and raise children.
Here is her blog entry:
Amanda Palmer: on internet hatred: please inquire within.
note, this is some serious reading as it is continued for several blogs.
The gist of the blog was that while Amanda Palmer was ego surfing after her album success she ran across a negative article about her and ended up googling "hate Amanda Palmer" and noticed that the search field had Hate Amanda Todd before herself.
So she googled Amanda Todd and found a tragedy that is being repeated at an alarming rate.
This is Amanda Todd.
I should say this was. But I am going to remember that her struggle is still with us.
Here is the video that she made:
This profoundly affected Amanda Palmer who has since joined in what I hope to be the change that one day will save our children from similar fates.
This is my comment on her blog. I just wanted to say, hey, it's all well and good to fight back and while survival stories can be good for moral and survival, I don't believe it solves anything, it might stop the bullies from bullying you but they will just find someone else to bully:
"I'd quote MLK but even I understand this need for self defense, there are so many people out there in pain who have decided to share their pain by hurting other people as someone most likely hurt them (not counting sociopaths). Survivor stories are all well and good. I am a survivor as well, but my scars run deep. I was bullied in 2 countries and 5 schools and it didn't matter whether I fought back (and I did- even to the point of becoming one of the bullies myself- yes that line is very thin and all too easy to cross), I would point out that I lost way more fights than I won and while I am glad that some of you fought back once and it was over for you, it was never over for me. I survived high school only to find the junior college was as bad, the rest of college/university gets better and adulthood usually means that the physical battery should end, then emotional/intellectual/spiritual battery continues and people will dismiss this as "well that's just life."
It does matter how big you are or how many martial arts you take. If you are victimized, it can, it will follow you around. I buried my memories, some so deep that they did not disturb me until I hit my forties. Then it almost killed me to have to remember what was done to me in my youth. The bullies are still there, they just have better jobs or positions or such and they will continue to try to make you afraid, intimidate you.
It's true. It's a fact of life. You can survive it. I do, but my scars still show.
What I say is this. We have the power and the responsibility to every kid who is not going to survive this, is not going to win that fight, that is going to be killed by a bully or give up and commit suicide. We owe it to ourselves and our children and their children and every child to change our society so that no one has to stand up for themselves, that there is no need for a bat or the continuation of violence in order to survive. That childhood can be about something more than coping and dealing with being different or not fitting in.
I don't want another child to have to learn to survive/fight back the way that I did. Most won't make to adulthood, many of those who do will not make it much past the guilt and shame that comes with that survival.
I want something more. I want to know that I have done something to change the world, even if it is just one kid who doesn't have to get a bat and prolong the violence that is destroying our future."
This is Olivia Liv Penpraze
Needless to say, I kind of lost it. I posted a couple of replies which were met with derision and apathy by the poster's friends. Then it hit me, you cannot reason with stones anymore than you can stop a river with only your hands. Maybe there is no stopping bullying and maybe we should learn to live with the aggression.... like hell, I will not quit. I have to try, and so does anyone who loves their children enough to stop for 5 seconds and consider what this says.
The only way to fight fire is with fire.
or
overcome violence by becoming violent.
I was upset and I removed my replies and even blocked someone who came across like the perfect asinine bully I pretty much despised since my youth.
What is more we cannot all be bullies or fighter or "survivors."
We aren't all made that way and what I lost as a child and a man because I fought back (and mostly lost) cannot be replaced. As I have said before and will say again, even at 46, there is still a part of me that is the crying child who does not understand why everyone hated him and so many tried to hurt him. I still hear his voice in my head.
I was ready to just leave all this behind me, that I had said enough, but then Linda Palmer (musician and a fine human being) reminded me of why we cannot stop resisting this travesty, why we need to find a better way to live and raise children.
Here is her blog entry:
Amanda Palmer: on internet hatred: please inquire within.
note, this is some serious reading as it is continued for several blogs.
The gist of the blog was that while Amanda Palmer was ego surfing after her album success she ran across a negative article about her and ended up googling "hate Amanda Palmer" and noticed that the search field had Hate Amanda Todd before herself.
So she googled Amanda Todd and found a tragedy that is being repeated at an alarming rate.
This is Amanda Todd.
I should say this was. But I am going to remember that her struggle is still with us.
Here is the video that she made:
This is my comment on her blog. I just wanted to say, hey, it's all well and good to fight back and while survival stories can be good for moral and survival, I don't believe it solves anything, it might stop the bullies from bullying you but they will just find someone else to bully:
It does matter how big you are or how many martial arts you take. If you are victimized, it can, it will follow you around. I buried my memories, some so deep that they did not disturb me until I hit my forties. Then it almost killed me to have to remember what was done to me in my youth. The bullies are still there, they just have better jobs or positions or such and they will continue to try to make you afraid, intimidate you.
It's true. It's a fact of life. You can survive it. I do, but my scars still show.
What I say is this. We have the power and the responsibility to every kid who is not going to survive this, is not going to win that fight, that is going to be killed by a bully or give up and commit suicide. We owe it to ourselves and our children and their children and every child to change our society so that no one has to stand up for themselves, that there is no need for a bat or the continuation of violence in order to survive. That childhood can be about something more than coping and dealing with being different or not fitting in.
I don't want another child to have to learn to survive/fight back the way that I did. Most won't make to adulthood, many of those who do will not make it much past the guilt and shame that comes with that survival.
I want something more. I want to know that I have done something to change the world, even if it is just one kid who doesn't have to get a bat and prolong the violence that is destroying our future."
This is Olivia Liv Penpraze
The Martin Luther King Jr. quote is this:
The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral,
begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy.
Instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it.
Through violence you may murder the liar,
but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth.
Through violence you may murder the hater,
but you do not murder hate.
In fact, violence merely increases hate.
So it goes.
Returning violence for violence multiplies violence,
adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars.
Darkness cannot drive out darkness:
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.
On a somewhat lighter/brighter note I will close with this little bit of sunlight.
What you can do or where you can start:
and finally this one, I like it the most.
I just want to know that I can tell that child inside of me, that I stood up and made a difference,
maybe he will find the comfort that never came while I was that child.
and that's life according to Mike
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